Nearly three months have passed since Mr. Hagge has deployed. Five months since we have been together as a family, there was a brief visit with just him and I in November. Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years Eve and Day, our 10 year anniversary, sickness, first time happenings, last time events....all passed. Here we are in February, about to sail through Valentines Day. I would be lying if I said it were all easy, is all easy. I don't have it all figured out, but here a few tips and tricks I've learned so far.
The littles....
1. When Oregano says she misses daddy, I encourage her to write him a letter and I send it in the next package.
2. I talk to the girls about why daddy is working so far away and what our future looks like. For instance, a family vacation, a daddy date night for the oldest, looking for a home for us all to live together again. Oregano gets excited about what's coming up and is able to get her mind off of missing daddy.
3. If I see Oregano acting up, I ask her what's wrong. I've learned that sometimes she acts out in anger when she misses Mr. Hagge. Letting her express that to me and then giving her a hug and validation goes a long way.
The wife....
1. The phrase, "A site for sore eyes" hits home for me in a big way. Looking at a picture of Mr. Hagge helps my heart a lot, but not in a creepy stalking kind of way. Ha!
2. I have a goal to send a package a month. I collect little things throughout the month and it really helps me feel more connected to him and feeling like I am helping him.
3. Linking back to #2 for the girls. Planning for what we are going to accomplish when he gets back certainly helps the time pass and I am able to focus on the good to come and not about him not being here right now.
4. A big one, when I am struggling the hardest, I open my mouth. I tell someone. Even if all I can say is, "Today is super rough." It's not easy to say it out loud. I've said it very few times since he has left, but when I do, I don't feel alone anymore and it is extremely helpful.
5. Each day I try to make decisions on behalf of myself and Mr. Hagge that he will be proud of when he comes back home. You can't imagine the decisions you have to make alone when your spouse is away and isn't easily accessible. Striving to make the best decision for him to be proud of me is motivating and helps me to look at each challenge in a positive way.
I know these may seem simple and obvious, but it really is the little things that help through trying situations. It also helps that I have a super supportive husband, who, hit a home run for our 10 year anniversary by sending a lovely bouquet of flowers
and a custom necklace.
You rock baby!! Love you BIG!
