Hitting Home - Pre-Deployment

Lunch with my mother in law.  Driving to the base to pick up an item.  Grasping his hand, squeezing my eyes shut willing my mind to remember the grooves in his hand, the size, the warmth, how it fits into mine.  Sunglasses on my face to disguise my red eyes and attempting to cover up the tears streaming down, repeating to myself in my mind, just breathe, just breathe, just breathe.  It's hitting home.  It's here.  In 3 days he will be gone for 11 months, with maybe a brief visit in 2.5 months.  Just breathe, saying it as I'm typing this, reminding myself to breathe, it will be okay. 

Through processing this I'm reminded of loved ones gone, in my life, and in others.  The grief, the despair  the hopelessness of never seeing them again on this earth.  Then flipping over the coin and rejoicing in the promises that Jesus has given.  Thanking God for the glorious place called Heaven.  Trying to daydream about what that day will feel like, what it will look like, will it have seemed to come quickly.  This is where my two thoughts collide.  

God willing, he will return home.  Although his deployment and absence will be painful, I know that God has an extra dose of grace being sent my way.  I know that He is covering my girls and sheltering them from harm in any aspect of their life.  I know that He is providing a peace that will surpass all understanding.  I know that He is doing those things even now.

So, in these next few days, I will cherish every single moment.  Speak every word thoughtfully.  Love with all my heart.  Giving it all away, hoping to fill up his love tank enough to last him until the next time.  I'm thanking God for phones and computers with Skype.  
And even though I can seem a bit dramatic and a little over the top with my emotions, I actually do know that all will be well.  The next 11 months will pass, they will pass slowly or quickly, they will pass with joy or sadness, wonderful experiences or frustrations.  The choice is mine and I choose all things that are good and joyful.  Thank you God for choices.

CH

Receiving An Answered Prayer Require Action?

Judges 13:8-11   "Then Manoah prayed, “O Lord, please let the man from God come back to us again and give us more instructions about the child you are going to give us.”  The Lord answered his prayer, and the Angel of God appeared once again to his wife as she was sitting in the field. But again she was alone—Manoah was not with her—  so she quickly ran and found her husband and told him, “The same man is here again!” Manoah ran back with his wife and asked, “Are you the man who talked to my wife the other day?”

“Yes,” he replied, “I am.”  

When reading this scripture I found it interesting that an angel came all the way from heaven, yet didn't travel a little further to Manoah who prayed the prayer to see him in the first place, the angel went to his wife instead.  Then he "ran" to see the angel himself.  He prayed a prayer, then he moved himself to see the angel.  He moved himself to receive an answered prayer.  

I wonder how many answers to prayers we would have if we asked the question, "Lord, what action do I need to take, what is my part to play in receiving the answer?".  How many prayers of mine have gone unanswered?  Even today?  I'm by no means saying this is a magical solution to every unanswered prayer.  Some prayers will still be answered with a resounding no, because God's timing is perfect.

Can you think of a time when you prayed a prayer that required you to take action to receive the answer?  What was that experience like for you?  

For example, prayers for financial peace?  "Lord Jesus, protect my finances, increase our portion, favor!"  That prayer, for me, required action on my part.  Following a budget, saving, living debt free, considering every purchase. "Be faithful in little, you will be faithful in much." Luke 16:10  That was what the Lord spoke to me then and speaks to me now for so many prayers I make.  

I don't think the action will always be a HUGE gesture, but it may have HUGE results.  It may be something small.  Like being at the right place at the right time because you listened to God's voice. Maybe it's talking to the right person.  

I remember in bible college I needed a place to stay for the summer so I could keep my job.  I had NO options that I felt were within my reach.  I prayed and asked God for help.  His answer was to ask a classmate to live with her family.  I hardly knew Angela, actually, I didn't care for her very much at the time.  Our friend groups were completely different.  So, with much discomfort and nerves, I asked her.  How awkward!  Asking someone I hardly knew to live with them!  That memory is so fresh to this day.  Well, don't you know it, a few days later she came back to me and said yes!  YES!  Craziness!  My prayer required action, a very uncomfortable action, but God knew the outcome.  And you know what?  She is one of my dearest and closest friends to this day.  Her family had a major impact on my life and I consider them my own family.  I would've missed out on so much if I hadn't took action. 

What prayer requires action in your life today?  Don't delay, you never know what's coming around the bend.

CH

One Of Those Days

I have to be honest, today is one of those days.  One of those days that that I am trying to keep my head above water.  Not because of anything in particular, so, I'm trying to push through whatever the unknown reason is and continue on with my responsibilities.  Knowing and hoping that tomorrow will be a better day.  I know this because I know what God says about me and I'm trying to recall all of those lovely words in the Bible to meditate on and keep me focused on "whatsoever is true, pure and lovely". 

"Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things." Philippians 4:8

And if I'm going to be REALLY honest, in the middle of trying to meditate on this, I thought, I don't want to think on what is pure and lovely and true and just and and and.  I just want to wallow in my frustration and sadness.  These are the days our children look at us and say, "Leave Mommy alone today, she's in a bad mood."  Hey, I'm calling it like it is and I don't want my children to say that.  I want my girls to look back on these days with fondness.  I want them to see me today and everyday as warm and inviting, trustworthy, not a time bomb.

You know what?  Today I refuse! I'm tired of having days like this.  I'm tired of allowing these days to seep in and take control.  So, here I am, writing this blog when I don't "feel" like it.  I am taking control of my emotions, telling it to line up with the word of God and I'm going to conquer this day with hope and joy in my heart. My daughters will go to bed with smiles on their faces.  Today will be a good day.  I command it!  I demand it!  With worship music on, a wonderful scripture on my mind I will smash down all the negative chatter in my mind.  I win!  Today, I win.

CH