One Of Those Days

I have to be honest, today is one of those days.  One of those days that that I am trying to keep my head above water.  Not because of anything in particular, so, I'm trying to push through whatever the unknown reason is and continue on with my responsibilities.  Knowing and hoping that tomorrow will be a better day.  I know this because I know what God says about me and I'm trying to recall all of those lovely words in the Bible to meditate on and keep me focused on "whatsoever is true, pure and lovely". 

"Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things." Philippians 4:8

And if I'm going to be REALLY honest, in the middle of trying to meditate on this, I thought, I don't want to think on what is pure and lovely and true and just and and and.  I just want to wallow in my frustration and sadness.  These are the days our children look at us and say, "Leave Mommy alone today, she's in a bad mood."  Hey, I'm calling it like it is and I don't want my children to say that.  I want my girls to look back on these days with fondness.  I want them to see me today and everyday as warm and inviting, trustworthy, not a time bomb.

You know what?  Today I refuse! I'm tired of having days like this.  I'm tired of allowing these days to seep in and take control.  So, here I am, writing this blog when I don't "feel" like it.  I am taking control of my emotions, telling it to line up with the word of God and I'm going to conquer this day with hope and joy in my heart. My daughters will go to bed with smiles on their faces.  Today will be a good day.  I command it!  I demand it!  With worship music on, a wonderful scripture on my mind I will smash down all the negative chatter in my mind.  I win!  Today, I win.

CH