Hitting Home - Pre-Deployment

Lunch with my mother in law.  Driving to the base to pick up an item.  Grasping his hand, squeezing my eyes shut willing my mind to remember the grooves in his hand, the size, the warmth, how it fits into mine.  Sunglasses on my face to disguise my red eyes and attempting to cover up the tears streaming down, repeating to myself in my mind, just breathe, just breathe, just breathe.  It's hitting home.  It's here.  In 3 days he will be gone for 11 months, with maybe a brief visit in 2.5 months.  Just breathe, saying it as I'm typing this, reminding myself to breathe, it will be okay. 

Through processing this I'm reminded of loved ones gone, in my life, and in others.  The grief, the despair  the hopelessness of never seeing them again on this earth.  Then flipping over the coin and rejoicing in the promises that Jesus has given.  Thanking God for the glorious place called Heaven.  Trying to daydream about what that day will feel like, what it will look like, will it have seemed to come quickly.  This is where my two thoughts collide.  

God willing, he will return home.  Although his deployment and absence will be painful, I know that God has an extra dose of grace being sent my way.  I know that He is covering my girls and sheltering them from harm in any aspect of their life.  I know that He is providing a peace that will surpass all understanding.  I know that He is doing those things even now.

So, in these next few days, I will cherish every single moment.  Speak every word thoughtfully.  Love with all my heart.  Giving it all away, hoping to fill up his love tank enough to last him until the next time.  I'm thanking God for phones and computers with Skype.  
And even though I can seem a bit dramatic and a little over the top with my emotions, I actually do know that all will be well.  The next 11 months will pass, they will pass slowly or quickly, they will pass with joy or sadness, wonderful experiences or frustrations.  The choice is mine and I choose all things that are good and joyful.  Thank you God for choices.

CH

Receiving An Answered Prayer Require Action?

Judges 13:8-11   "Then Manoah prayed, “O Lord, please let the man from God come back to us again and give us more instructions about the child you are going to give us.”  The Lord answered his prayer, and the Angel of God appeared once again to his wife as she was sitting in the field. But again she was alone—Manoah was not with her—  so she quickly ran and found her husband and told him, “The same man is here again!” Manoah ran back with his wife and asked, “Are you the man who talked to my wife the other day?”

“Yes,” he replied, “I am.”  

When reading this scripture I found it interesting that an angel came all the way from heaven, yet didn't travel a little further to Manoah who prayed the prayer to see him in the first place, the angel went to his wife instead.  Then he "ran" to see the angel himself.  He prayed a prayer, then he moved himself to see the angel.  He moved himself to receive an answered prayer.  

I wonder how many answers to prayers we would have if we asked the question, "Lord, what action do I need to take, what is my part to play in receiving the answer?".  How many prayers of mine have gone unanswered?  Even today?  I'm by no means saying this is a magical solution to every unanswered prayer.  Some prayers will still be answered with a resounding no, because God's timing is perfect.

Can you think of a time when you prayed a prayer that required you to take action to receive the answer?  What was that experience like for you?  

For example, prayers for financial peace?  "Lord Jesus, protect my finances, increase our portion, favor!"  That prayer, for me, required action on my part.  Following a budget, saving, living debt free, considering every purchase. "Be faithful in little, you will be faithful in much." Luke 16:10  That was what the Lord spoke to me then and speaks to me now for so many prayers I make.  

I don't think the action will always be a HUGE gesture, but it may have HUGE results.  It may be something small.  Like being at the right place at the right time because you listened to God's voice. Maybe it's talking to the right person.  

I remember in bible college I needed a place to stay for the summer so I could keep my job.  I had NO options that I felt were within my reach.  I prayed and asked God for help.  His answer was to ask a classmate to live with her family.  I hardly knew Angela, actually, I didn't care for her very much at the time.  Our friend groups were completely different.  So, with much discomfort and nerves, I asked her.  How awkward!  Asking someone I hardly knew to live with them!  That memory is so fresh to this day.  Well, don't you know it, a few days later she came back to me and said yes!  YES!  Craziness!  My prayer required action, a very uncomfortable action, but God knew the outcome.  And you know what?  She is one of my dearest and closest friends to this day.  Her family had a major impact on my life and I consider them my own family.  I would've missed out on so much if I hadn't took action. 

What prayer requires action in your life today?  Don't delay, you never know what's coming around the bend.

CH

One Of Those Days

I have to be honest, today is one of those days.  One of those days that that I am trying to keep my head above water.  Not because of anything in particular, so, I'm trying to push through whatever the unknown reason is and continue on with my responsibilities.  Knowing and hoping that tomorrow will be a better day.  I know this because I know what God says about me and I'm trying to recall all of those lovely words in the Bible to meditate on and keep me focused on "whatsoever is true, pure and lovely". 

"Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things." Philippians 4:8

And if I'm going to be REALLY honest, in the middle of trying to meditate on this, I thought, I don't want to think on what is pure and lovely and true and just and and and.  I just want to wallow in my frustration and sadness.  These are the days our children look at us and say, "Leave Mommy alone today, she's in a bad mood."  Hey, I'm calling it like it is and I don't want my children to say that.  I want my girls to look back on these days with fondness.  I want them to see me today and everyday as warm and inviting, trustworthy, not a time bomb.

You know what?  Today I refuse! I'm tired of having days like this.  I'm tired of allowing these days to seep in and take control.  So, here I am, writing this blog when I don't "feel" like it.  I am taking control of my emotions, telling it to line up with the word of God and I'm going to conquer this day with hope and joy in my heart. My daughters will go to bed with smiles on their faces.  Today will be a good day.  I command it!  I demand it!  With worship music on, a wonderful scripture on my mind I will smash down all the negative chatter in my mind.  I win!  Today, I win.

CH  

Love Conquers All

One Wednesday night service, Mrs. Becky, my Pastors wife said something that struck a chord with me.  She said, "Let your first thought be love." Out of that thought blossomed this post. (Thank you for sharing your wisdom Mrs. Becky!)

Love conquers all?  I know 1 Corinthians 13:8 says love never fails, so if it never fails, it must conquer all! 

What is love?  Long suffering, kind, perseveres, rejoices with the truth, protects, trusts (with boundaries), hopes.

What love is not? Envious, boastful, prideful, dishonest, self seeking, easily angered, delights in evil, does not fail.

When I think of the word conquer, I think of someone finally reaching the mountain top.  What is your mountain?  You can have a mountain of ______________, but love can knock it all down.  What would you fill the blank in with?  Rejection? Low self esteem? Jealously? Hate? Bitterness? Un-forgiveness?  Loneliness?

God loved you enough to cover all of your flaws/sin through the blood of Jesus Christ.  Can you stand up and be brave enough to conquer that mountain? 

Do the work!

Eradicate negative chatter.  Take all those negative thoughts and shoot them down!  Do NOT allow yourself to dwell on them.  Replace them with what is true, which is my next point.

Think on what is true.  I know this sounds a bit new agey, but this worked for me.  I literally breathed in and thought of only things God says is true about me, good stuff.  Then, I breathed out all the negative stuff that was trying to jump on me.  I continued this until I knew that those thoughts had left me.  As time goes on, I find it easier and easier to get rid of all those negative thoughts.

Let your first thought be love.  If the negative chatter involves a tense relationship, change those thoughts to thoughts of love.  I KNOW you can find something good about that person to think about.  It may be something very small and silly, "She can cook good." or "She's a good mom.".  Find something!  Anything! 

Pray the hard prayers.  If the negative chatter involves another person, pray for them.  Even if the only words you can get out are, "Jesus, help!" it's a great start.

Finally, do a heart check before you unleash on others.  I wouldn't recommend unleashing on anyone at all, but if you must confront make sure your heart is right. Make sure the reasons are right.  Make sure you do it in LOVE!  There is so much that could be written on this one.

Your mountain, my mountain can be conquered by love!  So, I'll say it again, before you speak, let your first thought be love. 


CH

1st Day of Kindergarten, 1st Day of Homeschooling

The first day of homeschooling wasn't bad at all.  Very short.  I do recognize I am currently only homeschooling one child, but I was nervous none the less.  Although I was prepared, I quickly realized that I needed to adjust the area we are using for class. 

My daughter, who I'll call Oregano, was very excited for school.  Today, school lasted about an hour and that was good because I don't think she would've lasted much longer.  She was very enthusiastic about the reward system.  It's a classic reward system, but one that I think will be my sanity.  Green, Yellow, Red cards.  Green-good, yellow-not so good, Red-not good at all.  If she is on green at the end of the day, she gets a sticker, fill up one row of stickers, she get a prize!  Now, I'm talking her language!  PRIZES!!!!  Land on yellow, you get nothing.  Land on red, you get to have a conversation with Daddy about why.  Sounds good to me!

Excuse the amateur nature of this picture.  I promise to get better.

I am so thankful to my husband and to the Lord that I get the opportunity to be at home with my babies and to teach them.  I know there will be challenges and hard days, but I also know that there will be grace. 

Also, I want to give you a link today to a page that REALLY helped me get organized.  www.confessionsofahomeschooler.com  If you are homeschooling, check out her page! 

How was your first day?  Your child's first day of school or homeschool? 

Happy Monday!

CH

As Iron Sharpens Iron

Disclaimer: I'm terrible at grammar.  I even misspelled grammar, thank God for auto correct.  Have mercy on me and be encouraged by the content, not distracted by the mistakes.  Thanks!


Proverbs 27:17 "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another."

One night, as my daughter, who is 4, was having an EPIC meltdown at a friends house, a new perspective on this scripture came into view.  Unfortunately my husband wasn't there for backup and I had a very trying day with #1 already.  Her meltdown, brought me to tears.  I handled the situation with correction and discipline, had Daddy call #1 and talk to her and I headed out the door trying to look like the picture of grace. Ever been there? Talking slowly and calmly, standing with good posture, collecting items slowly and saying an apologetic goodbye to our friends. The damage was done, I probably didn't look as graceful as I imagined and likely looked more like the frazzled mess I was on the inside.  I forbid #1 to talk on the ride home, I had to pull myself together.  While I was stopped I sent a quick message to our friends apologizing again and it was in that moment that God spoke to me.  Iron gets sharpened by pressing up against one another.  WOW!  How close would you need to be to become sharpened?  How vulnerable?  How exposed? 

That night, our friends didn't gaff at me, they didn't say, "You need to work on your parenting skills." or "Your child is out of control.".  They loved on me, reminded me that all children have meltdowns, this was normal.  There were things I learned that night that I wouldn't have if I hadn't been exposed.  Two points on that....1. Sometimes we can choose to expose ourselves and 2. sometimes we get exposed involuntarily.

Ever since that night I've been open, upon God's leading, to expose myself in situations that I might not have before to allow myself to be sharpened.  Being sharpened is a tough kind of business, but boy do I like being sharp.  Get me sharp Lord!

CH

Sick Day For Mommy?

Yesterday I was sick ALL day, slept pretty bad the night before too.  Thankfully, my husband was off of work and was able to help out with the girls.  However, as I laid down in bed, partaking in some much needed rest, I felt GUILTY!  Why?  Now, I told y'all that God has been speaking deep into my heart lately and I firmly believe had not my ears been listening I wouldn't have had the opportunity to work out what I am about to tell you.

So, why?  When I was little I was sick almost always!  Crazy allergies and bronchial asthma were at the top of the list.  (Note: I love my parents and am not bashing them in anyway.)  I'm not sure if they realized I had allergies or not, but I would visit my Dad (Yes, they were divorced.) who had cats!  Did I mention I am SEVERELY allergic to cats!  I remember him saying to me one visit, "You just get sick because you don't want to be here.".  Now, remember, parents aren't perfect and we all say things we regret. However, I never put two and two together.  Every time I would get sick after that and until now I felt guilty, like I was getting sick intentionally.  Thank you JESUS that He revealed this deep seeded lie in my heart!  I don't ever want to be sick.  I bet you don't either, but when we get sick we should be able to rest up and get better without guilt or thinking we need to be supermom. I do realize there are times when we have to woman-up and take care of things, but if we have the opportunity to rest it should be without guilt.  Here are a few Bible verses that say, hey, it's okay to rest and be healed!

Matthew 11:28  "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Exodus 34:21 “Six days you shall work, but on the seventh day you shall rest. In plowing time and in harvest you shall rest.

Isaiah 53: 5  "But he was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his wounds we are healed."

Might I even suggest that sometimes we will only receive healing in our bodies when we REST! 

So, yesterday, God healed a very small piece of my heart that was buried for so long.  Anytime I began to feel guilty I would remind myself, that Jesus Himself needed rest,  God requires a day of rest from us, and that healing may come only from REST.  I will no longer allow myself to say, "I'm sorry I'm sick, I feel like I'm letting you down". I will no longer allow myself to wallow in negative chatter about being sick either.

Are you sick?  Are you weary?  Rest!  Rest in Jesus, rest on the couch, rest on the bed!  Rest!  Give yourself a few minutes, a few hours, whatever you need to get better.  The dishes can wait.  Rest!

CH